kol: (Vision)

Books Read




READ THE MARTIAN IMMEDIATELY!! This book has messed me up and I have no one to talk about all my feelings. SOMEONE READ IT SO I CAN GUSH ABOUT HOW AWESOME THE MAIN CHARACTER IS!!! The movie is being released at the end of the year, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to read it at least 2 more times. SUCH A GOOD BOOK OMG

TV & Movies I freaked over



and



THE FIRST STAND ALONE MOVIE IS GOING TO BE ABOUT ROGUE SQUADRON (my fav) AND A LADY (AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA).

Music On Repeat


Big Data Clean (featuring Jamie Lidell)

Other Stuff!




I'm going to post more on the big plan, but I really like this pic and wanted to post it again :3.

Adventures Yet To Come!




Melting Pot + Introducing Sageface to Keplers (my fav bookstore) tomorrow, and Wednesday I am going to attempt to not only make sunflower seed flour, but also use it in a biscuit recipe. There will be pictures!! I'm experimenting with sunflower seed flour because most of the really tasty lowcarb recipes these days require almond flour... and I can't eat almonds. XD
kol: (A Circle of War)
I'm going to try and do a 31_days type theme post each month-- I'm a bit late for January, but better later than never, right? Feel free to snag any of the prompts for your own projects!

January: a collection of lyrics


  1. I've become a ghost in your garden, fading into view

  2. Rinse my thoughts in alcohol

  3. Black clouds rolling over me

  4. Wanted to fight this war without weapons

  5. It keeps my veins hot, the fire's found a home in me

  6. The shivers move down my shoulder blades in double time

  7. All the double-edged people and schemes / They make a mess then go home and get clean.

  8. I know we're not everlasting / We're a train wreck waiting to happen

  9. All the surprises in a size too small

  10. If this is to end in fire / Then we should all burn together

  11. Raise a glass of wine for the last time

  12. You press your hands against my chest / This isn’t over yet

  13. What's the point when you're breathless

  14. Somebody better show me how I feel / 'Cause I know I'm not at the wheel

  15. We weave in and out of consciousness alone / 'til our bodies collide and keep us from getting cold

  16. But there's a light if you dare to believe it

  17. Flood lines we etched when we merged into one

  18. What if I never even see you cuz we're both on a stage

  19. Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore

  20. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul

  21. They all got the same heartbeat, but hers is falling behind

  22. Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered

  23. You've applied the pressure to have me crystalised

  24. Troubled spirits on my chest where they laid to rest.

  25. The scent you wear moves in lines / From your apartment into mine

  26. Would it be much better if I knew nothing about you?

  27. I'm aimless, heading toward nowhere at the speed of light

  28. Whiskey and rum / Blood on my tongue

  29. It’s blank courage you see, I’m expecting to trip

  30. These dreams turn to stone in spite of me

  31. There's never any medicine in sugar pills / but I have grown addicted to your high


Sources )
kol: (With his red shoes on)
I had a hard 2014, and one of the reasons for it was a decided lack of planning, and then holding myself accountable to impossible things until I just gave up on everything. So instead of just focusing on monthly accountability at the end of the month, I'm also going to set goals for myself at the beginning :D.

Writing


I'm participating in GWYO again this year, aiming to write 200,000 words this year. This should average 548 words a day, or roughly 16,986 words a month; however I usually adjust my monthly production to account for November/Nanowrimo, which means for January my goal is 448 words a day, or 13,888 total words.

My planned projects include:
  • ~2,000 words on RP projects (trying to get into RP character voices again!)
  • ~5,000 words onSmart (short story)
  • ~3,000 words on A Heart Doesn't Break Even (a sequence of fanfics, aka my Naruto fixit cycle)
  • ~5,000 words on Ghosts of Annalise (novella)
  • Finish Kingdom Hunger Games AU fics
  • Finish Kingdom Naruto AU fic for Sage for the love of all that is holy
All and all I'm in pretty good shape having enough projects to work on this month, which was a big problem last year once I stopped being able to write for all of my RP characters and had no inspiration for another project.

Book Queue




TV Queue




Movie Queue


kol: (You want these lumps)
So since I purchased my ipad in April, I have slowly gotten back into listening to new music. While last year I went through a period of Tam Songs (I call it my Bastille period :3), this year it was just music with good beats & sometimes awesome lyrics. Eventually I'm going to put together some 8tracks with some music that I've found, but until then, LINKS TO MUSIC BEHIND THE CUT.

September & August -- Lovelife, Sia, Ed Sheeran )

JULY SONGSRead more... )

JUNE SONGSRead more... )
kol: (An immense city)
Things have not been well in the land of Kol for quite some time, but I thought it prudent to play a bit of catchup here to explain my absence.

In June I vacationed with Angie and Pixie, but once I returned my mom & her entire apartment complex received eviction notices. On top of desperately searching for a new home for my disabled mother, I was fighting both my health insurance company and the hospital I was admitted multiple times in June at, over excessive charges, denial of claims, and being set to a collection agency less than a month after my hospital stay AND before I even received a bill. This, coupled with work & family stresses, successive bouts of sickness, a week long migraine, and 2 weeks of left eye issues that are still unresolved and leaving me with limited time on the computer due to light sensitivity, has kinda made me hide out in my apartment and wait for the general storm to pass XD.

With only a month left to get my mom into a place, I finally called her landlord yesterday and pleaded for an extension. The five years my mom has lived at the complex, Wendi has always been very good to my mom, and for once our luck held-- she's going to be able to stay (with a slightly increased rent) until January, and she's open to re-negotiating the lease then. So there is one less stress I am facing, and it was enough for me to pop my head a bit today and go online for a bit.

Beyond the various stresses, not much has been going on. I'm pretty far behind on reading thanks to the whole eye thing and can't seem to be bothered to watch anything on Netflix that isn't West Wing episodes. While I've lost entirely the voices of all my RP characters and have no clue on how to regain them, I have written a surprising amount of fanfic that might be uploaded to AO3, a fair amount of poetry, and stumbled upon enough fixes for IPOM I'm going to write it for Nano this year. So a lot of mixed bag going on, basically.

I'm still too stressed to handle AIM these days (focusing is a huge issue, and I feel like I'm bothering people with my inability to get through things), but I'm going to try and go online more in September. I just wanted to say thanks for your patience while I've been working so many things out-- you guys mean the world to me, and it pains me that I can't express that love nearly as much as I want to when I'm this overwhelmed. Just big hugs for everyone, and I promise to see you guys online more next month <3
kol: (Rock ON!)
So on this credit card billing cycle I will have:
  • 2 Giants tickets (birthday game with my mom)
  • Southwest airline tickets Philly -> Minneapolis for 2 (4th Street Fantasy in June!)
  • Jetblue airline tickets SJC -> Newark (Also for June!)
  • The iPad I just bought for myself as an early birthday present
  • The iPad accessories I just purchased on amazon as an early birthday present
  • Any expenses I make in Palm Springs next week (which, being Palm Springs, is not exactly pocket change XD)
  • The pre-migraine Lucky's grocery fiesta (like how is it possible to put $125 of groceries on a bike Kol this makes no sense)


GONNA GET ALL THE REWARDS POINTS THIS MONTH, YEAH!

Also, any suggestions on what to name the ipad? I'm half tempted to go with an Adventure Time reference, since my iphone is Oh My Glob & that phone has survived suspiciously more falls than seems reasonable to not have a scratch on it.

is it tacky to put up a birthday wishlist? It's just that people frequently tell me they have no idea what to get me, not that I expect anything. Ug birthday etiquette is so hard
kol: (Mushu is not pleased)
Holy cats am I tired...

so why can't I sleep

T______T
kol: (kingdom)
Fandom: Kingdom RP
Cast: Reed and Lynn
Prompt: 31_days from January “so far, this has been a one-way tale”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLY! Preamble + Timeline notes )

Reed liked to think he was a master of Lynn’s body language, and didn’t appreciate the reminder he was still a novice )
kol: (Default)
I've been doing the monthly accountability for words over at tumblr, but I figured I'd try doing one on dw for a change.

  • Total words written: 22,022 words
  • Monthly goal: 18,507-21,235 words
  • Goal for the year (@GYWO): 250,000 words
  • % of GYWO goal accomplished: 8.8%
  • # of days I wrote anything this month: 31 :D


PROJECTS:
  • IPOM: 5,143 words
  • POEMS: 2,335 words
  • SEED: 2,286 words
  • KINGDOM: 10,714 words
    • 1,777 words in 6 Tags (Acme Products Are Crap, Four Alarm Clover (x2), Dude Looks Like A Lady, Sight Without Depth Perception (x2))
    • 5,833 words in 2 published stories (There was a change in the way you breathe & Satisfaction feels like a distant memory)
    • 3,104 words in unpublished stories (Wandering Moon (Naruto au kol keeps writing for years without showing anyone), Fly’s birthday fic from last year (which kol still hasn’t finished), 10 Years Later (Sage’s birthday fic from a billion years that kol still hasn’t finished), Chester & Lynn babyherd ficlet, Unnamed Loni drabble)
  • ARCADIA: 1,543 (I really need to just finish the pirate story already)
kol: (Monocles For All)
BOOKS5 new books & 1 re-read )

MOVIESapparently this is the year of comedy! )

MANGA/COMICS/VIDSRead more... )


TELEVISION SERIES - KO’Dsleep by netflix streaming )

TELEVISION EPISODESI watched a lot more tv than I realized )

SONGSRead more... )
kol: (Bridge Jumping Friend)
1. The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch (4.5/5)
Read more... )

2. Enchanting Pleasures by Eloisa James (3/5)
Read more... )

3. A Kiss for Midwinter by Courtney Milan (4/5)
Read more... )

4. With This Kiss (a novel in 3 parts) by Eloisa James (3.5/5)
Read more... )

5. Beauty and the Werewolf by Mercedes Lackey (4/5)
Read more... )
kol: (Default)
I recently read a book that so misunderstood literary conflict, as a reader/writer I was almost insulted. Many people, however, don’t understand what conflict should be— when the goals and motivations of a characters in a narrative are opposed by the goals and motivations of another character. It is not two characters arguing, although that can stem from the conflict and add tension to a scene. There has to be more meat and depth to the fight than just misunderstanding the other person’s point of view— which is why you have to be invested, and you have to have something at stake, for conflict to work.

And as I was writing up my thoughts on that particular novel, I was struck by how intense my feelings were, and wondered why it should matter so much. What was making my skin itch with the wrongness? The truth was embarrassing to admit— quite a few of my novels lack appropriate conflict, including my eternal fantasy wip, IPOM, which I have been steadily poking all month.

thoughts on my eternal fantasy wip behind the cut )

thoughts on November's Nanowrimo, Good Seed-- aka the novella about a woman who is fighting off possession in the weirdness of Portland that really should have a better title )

other projects beyond the two )
kol: (Wishes: Make A Wish)
  • Saturday night Sage & I went to Pieology and watched the PR All-Stars finale... and then I crashed for 4 & 1/2 hours after, oops
  • Also, I feel like a person again. I haven't had a good headspace for so long, I sometimes surprise myself with how much like ME my headspace feels. A+ for Kol
  • It is January and I'm on season 5 of my West Wing re-watch. Which is pretty much the same story as last January, a sign I love this stupid show too much XD
  • I'm about to start my 4th book of the year, go me :D

behind the cut, my reading queue for 2014 if anyone is interested; there will probably be about 20+ more books added next month )
kol: (All your cities I will burn)
Woo ahead of the game, just filed my taxes :D. I am having a super productive year you guys!



i had a weird day and i blame it all on stupid sleep )
kol: (Castle tea)
There was a change in the way you breathe
Fandom: Kingdom
Cast: Loni, Alex, and a cameo by Deon
Prompt: 31 days “the past takes its meaning from whatever we do right now”
Suggested song: “Stole You Away” by Benjamin Francis Leftwich [vid here]

She was free now, maybe her wings would remember what it felt like to fly )
kol: Brock is the man (Mission Accomplished)
So I realized most of you guys hadn't seen the desk/storage cube arrangement I got a few months ago and suddenly there were pictures & commentary XD.
this is interesting to maybe 2 people but here you go )

Pretty pleased that my desk area looks this good with only 5 minutes of cleaning (which included sort of making the bed XD). The best way to clean sometimes is to take pictures ;)
kol: (Ed's fabulous squee)
I gave myself the lofty goal of reading 50 new novels for 2013, and damned if I didn't win that challenge with 9 minutes left in the year :D. Of the novels, only one of them was written by a guy. The genres I read were Urban Fantasy, Historical Fantasy, Hard Scifi, and a lot of Regency/Victorian Romances. And now on to the lists:

NOVELS: 50 new novels )

NON-FICTION BOOKS: 2 & both were novel research )

THOUGHTS ON THE YEAR:Read more... )
kol: (An immense city)
So today I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist the second week of the new year.

2013 started off really strong-- it looked like I had kicked depression's ass. I was on fire with original writing (... just not RP projects XD), my diet & exercise changes saw me down nearly 30 pounds, my general mood was pretty darn high, and I made it to Readercon where I felt like a real grown up writer for the first time in my life.

But two things happened that, looking back, apparently triggered another reactive depression cycle that I'm only now aware how deep it has festered: two months of insomnia followed immediately by the death of my grandfather. this is really long but was incredibly important for me to get out and put it out there for other people to see )

But I'm not going to wait for 2014 or that appointment to start digging myself out of this mess-- therapy isn't an instant fix, and getting better is something that takes a lot of work and a lot of elements to attack. This week I've been concentrating on small habits I can fix-- washing my face in the morning and at night, having a cup of tea at night before bed, going for runs when I feel the sadness start to press in, starting to correct the diet that has spun entirely out of control. I've been writing in a journal daily and doing some Cognitive Behavioral exercises as certain stressful situations present themselves.

And I have to tell you, I feel a lot better, not only about myself, but also about 2013 as a whole. Because I was obsessed with the thought of the year as just as much a waste as I was... but the truth is, this was actually a pretty amazing year. And hell if it wasn't a game changer, even with the depression kicking me on my ass the last half of it.

The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment


I wanted to embed the Ted talk that quote is from, but dreamwidth kinda sucks at embedding video. But here is a link to Andrew Solomon's recent TEDx, which I think does a pretty good job of getting at what this depression feels like.

So yeah, that is what has been going on. And it only took about 2 hours to hit the "Post" button XD
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